it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
