Your face is a jimmy john
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize
