If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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