update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So vagazzling was a success
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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