my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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