Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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