please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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