Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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