Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
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You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
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All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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