from now on my penis is your penis
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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