So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
