we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
