a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize