We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
