just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
