Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
