I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
