apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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