Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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