STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize