she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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