let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
