This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
