come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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