Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
