This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
a search helicopter?!
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
