Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
