What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
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We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
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Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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