tell your sister to shave her snatch
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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