i just wanna soil my oats bro
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize