we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
