They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i now understand why vodka
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
