We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i think i have herpe
just one?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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