i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
