Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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