you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
