I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
