I have demons in me.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
