He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
