Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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