I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
