So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
