Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
