Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
