just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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