Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
