I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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