is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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