exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Randomize
