you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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