Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
