There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
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I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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