It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
