I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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