I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
it wasn't lemon gatorade
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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