you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
