My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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