she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
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Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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