the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
