Just cropdusted the office
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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