Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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